But it was the best! I had so many insights, inspirations, and I journaled through it all. I was surprised I journaled so much, but I was so drawn to it.....like air or water. For me journaling is a prayer in and of itself. So how could all of the internal angst in leaving be the best....so worth it? You know what the I.T. person says when you call in and tell him/her that your computer keeps crashing and is locked up and you're about to throw it out the window? He usually tells you some funky way to force it to shut down and tells you to start it back up. Then he tells you something that every says but never really does. He says to use up all of your battery before recharging it. Use it up completely before recharging it! Then he says to make sure you charge it completely....not just 52% so you can unplug it and run and make another blog post, or just 38% so you can check your email and drink tea in the living room and maybe catch a little episode on Hulu, and not 78% just so you have enough to catch up on your YouTube channel. He says to charge it up to 100% so you can get optimum life out of the BATTERY! Well, the use it up part we moms have no problem with. It's the charge it all back up to 100% where we have difficulties. And not only moms have this problem....so do dads, CEOs, singles on a mission, singles on no mission....basically people in general. Because we all feel terrible and NEED TO GET AWAY and in the next breath we're fine....everything's fine, just fine....I'll just drink another Diet Pepsi, pop another pill, drink another coffee or latté, go shopping, or get back on the computer. Or if you're really good, you go for a run or a walk or go sit in a park and journal or go to Mass or Confession or Adoration.
But you still need to get away to really recharge that spiritual battery. We all need to be broken down to see our sinfulness and be brought to total humility so that God can lift us up again like little children in his arms. Then you're ready to go out again. OK...now I'm really preaching because I just came off Mt. Tabor! But honestly, can you imagine what the world would be like if we treated ourselves the way God wants us to treat ourselves? I think it would be a very pleasant place to live and raise our children. In any case, I pray for all of you especially the moms out there because you really do deserve some time alone with the Lord and so do your kids!