Friday, July 15, 2011

7 Quick Takes: How to Become a Homeschool Hermit

1.  Find your nearest charter school.

This one is easy.  You just have to make sure your kid gets picked off the waiting list.  Then you send your little cherubs to school making sure they wear their scapulars so everyone knows they are Catholic.  Then you can pull them out of the charter school when they find themselves alone on the playground praying the rosary at the swingset.

2.  Join a homeschool coop.

For this one you have to make sure your kids are an odd number of something...odd number girl or odd number boy in each of the classes or gatherings.  This way the children who are already friends have to split themselves up wanting to be with your kids who are now the "new kids on the block."  This is a sure way to ensure that you've rocked everyone's boat of friends.  You'll be ousted in no time by all the veteran moms.

3.  Pick an intense curriculum.

Once you start saying things like, "We use Seton," or use the acronym "MODG" people will surely leave you to your rigorous, all consuming homeschooling.  If you whisper that you don't use a boxed curriculum because The Well Trained Mind is your guide, you're sure to lose all your friends.

4.  Raise Confident Leaders.

This will ensure that most of the other homeschool kids will want to be friends with your confident leaders, but this will also intimidate all of the other kids.  After you've ruffled everyone's feathers...namely the moms because of boat-rocking with'll be sitting at home not being a part of any organized groups.

5.   Get lice.

There's nothing worse to put the fear of God into a fellow homeschool mom than to drop that bomb in a string of phone calls after having all your kids' friends over for a gathering!

6.  Get a stomach virus.

Same as #5!

7.  Blog.

Nothing wards off friends more than archiving all your achievements and then publishing them on the world wide web.

Bye, World!

See more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary...I'm sure they will be more worthwhile than mine.:)

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