Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Getting It Right: Marriage, Intimacy, and Viagra for Women

Today Daddy pointed me to an article in the New York Times.  You can read the article here.  There are a few very good points in the article which give a solid argument for the silliness of marketing Viagra for women when the heart of the matter lies in the culture of our present day.  Camille Paglia points out our society has become so technocratic that we don't find the mystery of intimacy anymore.  Where we have emasculated men and beefed up women, we've become a society of gender neutral people who care more about productivity in the workplace than in the bedroom.

In the discreet white-collar realm, men and women are interchangeable, doing the same, mind-based work. Physicality is suppressed; voices are lowered and gestures curtailed in sanitized office space. Men must neuter themselves, while ambitious women postpone procreation. Androgyny is bewitching in art, but in real life it can lead to stagnation and boredom, which no pill can cure.

She further states that fashion, pop culture, and media in no way help in increasing libido only making lives which are more sterile and devoid of the possibility of lust .  Of course, she speaks very humanistically and quite secular.  She refers to wooing and intimacy but doesn't quite get there.
Interestingly, I ran across a blog post that was speaking along the same lines but in different context.  Anne Voskamp writes beautifully in her blog about the vulnerability of building a marriage bed.  After having six children with her husband which she loving refers to as the Farmer, she finds it is difficult to accept the word "beautiful" which her husband so readily gives away to her as a gift.  Here, too, a woman is found challenged in the bedroom when she forgets that she was made a woman by the gentle loving of a husband.  It is in surrendering that she was made whole.  Whether she believes it or not, she is beautiful, and must surrender to the seasons of a marriage in order to continue to keep the marriage bed sacred.
Read Camille's article first and you'll be saying, "Right On!"  Then go and read, Anne's blog.  Post after post will keep you wanting more desiring to rekindle the marriage you have or give you hopes of one day having.  In short, not only is it the wooing of one to the other, the mystery, but also our faith which gives us the unitive and the procreative along with the duty and responsibility in the sacredness.  What a gift Mother Church has given us in sacramental marriage.  The openness to life and the openness to vulnerability as we stand exposed not only in our skin but in our innermost being is exactly as our creator wants us to be....child-like.  I am reminded of this when I see Nick's smooth, silky body as he lies there in his bassinett before I turn out the light to crawl into my bed.  This is where God wants me to bed...small, vulnerable, hidden, and in a very concrete way towards my husband.  No amount of Viagra will help the inhabitants of this world desire each other all the more.  It is true intimacy, vulnerability, and   the ability to woo each other over and over again which does the trick.  This only comes by way of faith which transcends all our efforts to the divine.

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